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Debunking the baby trauma myths...

17/3/2025

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When there's been a car accident, a near drowning, a death in the family, domestic violence or any other potentially traumatic event, as adults, we'll often find ourselves spending some time in therapy working through these difficult experiences and finding a way to experience joy and a sense of safety again. What is not the norm is for us to seek therapy for the infants and toddlers in our care under the same circumstances. We tend to think of babies as being super resilient, able to withstand these knocks and keep on going. We also tend to think that they don't remember much about what happens when they're very little. We certainly never consider that they might be able to be helped through these challenges or meaningfully engage in therapy in any way. Well, we would be wrong, and that is the topic of today's newsletter!

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The Gift of an Ordinary Meltdown...

4/2/2025

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What if I told you that one day, very soon, your child would stop having meltdowns all together. Not only that, but they would also stop making a mess in the house, stop teasing their brother, stop whining for sweets in the supermarket, stop treading muddy footprints through the house, stop back-chatting you, stop refusing to go to school, stop waking you up when they have nightmares in the early hours of the morning and stop feeding their veggies to the dog under the table. Sounds like bliss, right?!

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The Uncontrollable Child

21/1/2025

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How to cope with a child who won't respond to punishment or reward
Perhaps you were one of those parents lucky enough to have a child who would stop what they were doing immediately if given just the right look. Perhaps not. Most of us have children with varying levels of defiance. The ones who laugh when you tell them you’re counting to three. The ones who leap out of the naughty corner the minute you turn your back. The ones who don’t give a damn for your treats, rewards or praise. The ones who make you feel like you’re failing at parenting.

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Let the little rat win!

7/1/2025

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Play is an essential life skill
Picture two rats playing in a laboratory. The bigger rat could easily dominate every play fight, but something fascinating happens instead: it deliberately lets the smaller rat win about a third of the time. This isn't just good sportsmanship—it's survival strategy. When the bigger rat fails to follow this unwritten rule, the smaller rat simply stops initiating play altogether.




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Parenting to change the world...

14/9/2022

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Join me in my discussion with Princess Mona as we explore how to shift the lens on your parenting and why this changes everything; why you don't have to be a perfect parent; why the best time to meditate is with a tantruming two year old; and why parenting is the best mechanism to change the world!

This stimulating conversation will give you some new insights on why it is so important to be the change you want to see in your kids.
Mona Naidoo (aka Princess Mona) is a life and abundance coach, helping women to transform their lives and finances and to step into their power in the world. For more of Mona's tips and insights, join her community on Facebook.
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F*@# the Self-Help Movement

21/12/2019

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UK life coach, Mia Von Scha, on the importance of living now.
I’ve had enough of the self-help movement. And I say this with full acknowledgement of my role in it. This movement is not there to help you. It is there to make money. It is an industry and a very fast growing one at that. Why? Why is it one of the fastest growing industries worldwide? Because we all think we’re messed up. We all think we’re not good enough. We all think we need to improve, get better, do more, sort ourselves out. Enough!


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Helping children to transcend desire...

9/11/2019

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Helping children to transcend desire: A parenting blog from Transformational Parenting.
It is a fundamentally human thing to desire. We all have things that we want. Maybe we want to be healthier, or happier, or we’d like another job or a new car or a break for a week, or a chance to pee in peace, or something delicious for dinner, or for our train to run on time, or our boss to give us a Christmas bonus, or our partner to pack the dishwasher without being asked. It is also fundamentally human to feel intense disappointment, anger and resentment when our desires go unfulfilled; as most of them will. 
 
Our children are human (I think we forget this sometimes) and so have both desires and the ensuing frustration when the things they want are not readily forthcoming.


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Balancing the Terror and Wonder of Parenting...

4/10/2019

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How embracing death will make you a better parent.
“The aim is to balance the terror of being alive with the wonder of being alive.” – Carlos Castaneda

Life is terrifying. There are so many things that can go wrong with us and our kids... and often do. It's a small wonder we aren't all on drugs. Oh wait, maybe we are! The explosion of anti-depressants and tranquilisers didn't come out of nowhere. If we have any measure of intelligence we'll see how fragile we are and that ultimately we have to die. And our children have to die. Maybe the only people seeing things clearly are the ones with what we call ‘mental health problems’. We all have a mental health problem called ‘extreme denial to cope with the truth’.
 
We're all going to die.


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Don't just do something, stand there!

13/9/2019

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The questions we ask ourselves are very important in terms of what we focus on in our lives, which in turn determines the quality of the life we end up living. In parenting, however, we often ask the wrong questions, questions that lead us down the rabbit hole of guilt, fear, inadequacy, and overwhelm. We tend to ask what we can do to be a better parent (implying that we’re not good enough). We ponder over what discipline practices we need to change or improve or which routines to implement or abandon (creating doubt in our minds about what we’re doing that our children inevitably pick up on). We may want to know which parenting approach to follow (suggesting that there is, in fact, one way that is better than all the others). 
 
There is no right or wrong way. In fact, in this case, the whole question needs to be thrown out...


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Be Your Child's Prefrontal Cortex...

3/11/2018

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UK Parenting Coach, Mia Von Scha, discusses how to help your children manage their behaviour.
We take it for granted that although we often feel like hitting someone else (or biting scratching or throwing a tantrum) that we are able to override this primitive drive and behave like an at least semi-civilized human being (well, most of the time anyway). We assume that this is a normal ability that everyone of all ages shares, and we therefore expect everyone else to make good use of it. Including our kids. But the physiological truth of the matter runs a little bit deeper…


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    ADHD: Alternatives to Medication

    Gain a strong understanding of natural, sustainable alternatives for ADHD children and how to implement these yourself.
    Gain a strong understanding of natural, sustainable alternatives for ADHD children and how to implement these yourself in this online course.
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