The new year is in full swing now, the kids are back at school, and the work year is well underway. This is the best time to install routines for the year to make sure that your kids are getting enough sleep, that everyone knows what’s happening in terms of extra murals, and also for the emotional stability of your children.
We all have a need for certainty on some level – it is a basic human need common to everyone. No matter how much you love a bit of variety, an unstructured life or a bit of spice in the everyday humdrum, you do need certainty as well. Isn’t it nice to know that the sun will come up again tomorrow, that most people will drive on the left hand side of the road (or the right for those of you overseas), that you know you have enough cash to feed your family tonight?
We all have a need for certainty on some level – it is a basic human need common to everyone. No matter how much you love a bit of variety, an unstructured life or a bit of spice in the everyday humdrum, you do need certainty as well. Isn’t it nice to know that the sun will come up again tomorrow, that most people will drive on the left hand side of the road (or the right for those of you overseas), that you know you have enough cash to feed your family tonight?
Children need this kind of certainty too, often in greater degrees than their parents, and the best way to help them with this is to have both boundaries and routine. Particularly when kids are little, their worlds are rather small, and consist of home and maybe school. They feel safe, secure and loved when they know what to expect – in other words when they have boundaries and routines. They need to know the consequences of their actions, they need to know what is going to occur next, they need to know that things will still be the same when they return from somewhere else.
We often overlook this in our adult drive for variety and don’t see that a holiday to a new destination or a late night outing on a school night or redecorating their room or a change in discipline techniques may in fact be very stressful for a small child.
Having predicatable routines for children is particularly important in helping them to navigate times of stress – starting a new school, moving house, a death in the family, divorce, arrival of a new sibling etc. If their routines are kept consistent during these times then they feel that they still know what to expect and that their whole world is not falling apart; that something has changed, but not EVERYTHING.
Do your best to keep certain things the same no matter what – bedtime, bath routines, family traditions for birthdays or special holidays – particularly during stressful times or times of change.
We never know what the next day will bring, and having established routines and consistent discipline and boundaries helps children to maintain emotional stability in an ever changing world.
If you’re struggling with changes in your own life, give me a call. Keeping yourself calm and emotionally stable is one of the best things that you can do for your kids.
We often overlook this in our adult drive for variety and don’t see that a holiday to a new destination or a late night outing on a school night or redecorating their room or a change in discipline techniques may in fact be very stressful for a small child.
Having predicatable routines for children is particularly important in helping them to navigate times of stress – starting a new school, moving house, a death in the family, divorce, arrival of a new sibling etc. If their routines are kept consistent during these times then they feel that they still know what to expect and that their whole world is not falling apart; that something has changed, but not EVERYTHING.
Do your best to keep certain things the same no matter what – bedtime, bath routines, family traditions for birthdays or special holidays – particularly during stressful times or times of change.
We never know what the next day will bring, and having established routines and consistent discipline and boundaries helps children to maintain emotional stability in an ever changing world.
If you’re struggling with changes in your own life, give me a call. Keeping yourself calm and emotionally stable is one of the best things that you can do for your kids.
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