As we gear up for 2014 I’d like to propose a Universal New Year’s Resolution. Just one. A challenging one, but one so worthwhile it will change your life – your health, your parenting, your bad habits, your financial situation, your stress levels, your weight and eating disorders…
“What is this panacea for my life?” I hear you ask, and I answer with a word of caution. The solution is so simple that you may discount it. You may even already know it and have missed its importance as it seems too simple to try. I assure you that it is more challenging than it may seem, and yet possible for everyone if you’ll only make it your priority for this year.
And the winner is… (drum roll)… Being fully present.
What this means is that you are actually THERE for your life – not lost in your mind in the past, future or imagination. Here. Hearing the sounds, smelling the smells, seeing what’s in front of you, feeling the joy / pain / fear / laughter / guilt / shame / bliss / anger / sadness / freedom / grief / …
Allowing each moment to be as it is without judgement, without running away into your mind, without searching for something to numb yourself from life; Looking closely at your eating, sex, gambling, drugs, smoking, alcohol, television, shopping, internet, moaning, exercising, working, socialising and thought habits and seeing what it is you’re trying to cover up by being so incessantly busy and distracted.
It’s time to STOP. To see yourself and your life as they are right now. To accept yourself and your life as you are right now. To stop with the constant ‘self-improvement’ and just be. As you are. Right now. Imperfect. And to love yourself not in spite of your imperfections, but because of them. Because you are fragile and human and struggling and it is in these imperfections that we connect to each other, that we are able to see our own frailty in the other and see beyond that to the perfection that lies beneath – to the core where we can rest in our stillness and beauty and there is no need to keep running and fighting and working on ourselves and tiring ourselves out.
It is only when we connect with the beauty of ourselves and our lives as they are now (not as we want them to be sometime in the future) that we can really connect to the beauty of our children as they are. They are here now, perfect in their imperfections, awaiting our love – the love that doesn’t judge, doesn’t expect, doesn’t envision them in some way other than what they are. How can we extend this love to anyone if we haven’t first extended it to ourselves.
Stop. Be here. Love this moment. Love yourself now. Love your children now. Slow down.
And in this presence comes change. The things that need to heal, heal. The things that need to fall away do. Parenting is easy. Eating the right foods is easy. Letting go of old habits is easy.
It is only in presence that we have choice. If you are not here now living your life, if you are off somewhere in your mind, then your unconscious mind takes over the running of your life and then you can only relive the past. You will keep on making the same mistakes, keep screaming at your kids even though you swore you wouldn’t, keep reaching for the cake despite your resolution not to, keep spending unconsciously.
Come present. Be here now. If you’re here and you actually feel the pain you’re trying to cover up you can let it go. It just wants you to see it, to feel it, to acknowledge it. Do it, and you can let it go. All your resolutions are trying to cover something up, trying to make things other than they are. But again, you only have choice in the moment. If you miss the moment, if you’re not here now, you miss the opportunity for choice. You miss the opportunity for love.
So be. Here. Now. And make the choice. The choice to be present, from which all other possibility for choice comes. Be here. In this moment, loving this moment, loving yourself in this moment and let your own presence transform you and your world.
I wish you only one thing for 2014 – that you are actually here to experience it. Fully here. Right now. Just be.
And the winner is… (drum roll)… Being fully present.
What this means is that you are actually THERE for your life – not lost in your mind in the past, future or imagination. Here. Hearing the sounds, smelling the smells, seeing what’s in front of you, feeling the joy / pain / fear / laughter / guilt / shame / bliss / anger / sadness / freedom / grief / …
Allowing each moment to be as it is without judgement, without running away into your mind, without searching for something to numb yourself from life; Looking closely at your eating, sex, gambling, drugs, smoking, alcohol, television, shopping, internet, moaning, exercising, working, socialising and thought habits and seeing what it is you’re trying to cover up by being so incessantly busy and distracted.
It’s time to STOP. To see yourself and your life as they are right now. To accept yourself and your life as you are right now. To stop with the constant ‘self-improvement’ and just be. As you are. Right now. Imperfect. And to love yourself not in spite of your imperfections, but because of them. Because you are fragile and human and struggling and it is in these imperfections that we connect to each other, that we are able to see our own frailty in the other and see beyond that to the perfection that lies beneath – to the core where we can rest in our stillness and beauty and there is no need to keep running and fighting and working on ourselves and tiring ourselves out.
It is only when we connect with the beauty of ourselves and our lives as they are now (not as we want them to be sometime in the future) that we can really connect to the beauty of our children as they are. They are here now, perfect in their imperfections, awaiting our love – the love that doesn’t judge, doesn’t expect, doesn’t envision them in some way other than what they are. How can we extend this love to anyone if we haven’t first extended it to ourselves.
Stop. Be here. Love this moment. Love yourself now. Love your children now. Slow down.
And in this presence comes change. The things that need to heal, heal. The things that need to fall away do. Parenting is easy. Eating the right foods is easy. Letting go of old habits is easy.
It is only in presence that we have choice. If you are not here now living your life, if you are off somewhere in your mind, then your unconscious mind takes over the running of your life and then you can only relive the past. You will keep on making the same mistakes, keep screaming at your kids even though you swore you wouldn’t, keep reaching for the cake despite your resolution not to, keep spending unconsciously.
Come present. Be here now. If you’re here and you actually feel the pain you’re trying to cover up you can let it go. It just wants you to see it, to feel it, to acknowledge it. Do it, and you can let it go. All your resolutions are trying to cover something up, trying to make things other than they are. But again, you only have choice in the moment. If you miss the moment, if you’re not here now, you miss the opportunity for choice. You miss the opportunity for love.
So be. Here. Now. And make the choice. The choice to be present, from which all other possibility for choice comes. Be here. In this moment, loving this moment, loving yourself in this moment and let your own presence transform you and your world.
I wish you only one thing for 2014 – that you are actually here to experience it. Fully here. Right now. Just be.
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