
Mostly, when we think about the meaning of life, we are thinking in broad terms of overarching material success or fame. We think of the great literary achievements of Herman Charles Bosman or JK Rowling. We think of the political and humanitarian strides of Nelson Mandela or Martin Luther King Jr. We think of the scientific advancements of Albert Einstein or Marie Curie. Or the sporting breakthroughs of Steffi Graf and Roger Bannister.
But for the vast majority of us, this will not be the case. It is easy, then, to assume the meaninglessness of existence; Depression being a natural response to feeling like you are just not making it in this life.
But for the vast majority of us, this will not be the case. It is easy, then, to assume the meaninglessness of existence; Depression being a natural response to feeling like you are just not making it in this life.
I have recently been re-reading the work of Viktor Frankl and some of the other existentialists. Viktor Frankl, particularly, captures my imagination on this subject because he was trying to find meaning from within a concentration camp in Nazi Germany. Not the easiest place to find hope for a future of wealth and fame.
Existentialism offers us another way of looking at meaning: Both in the broader terms of life as a whole and in the meaningfulness of this moment in particular.
This can be particularly helpful when we are in a situation where meaning seems hard to come by – in the middle of a crisis, in a country that is struggling, or with someone who is dying and does not have an assumed future in which to figure out and strive for some transpersonal meaning.
The meaning of the unextraordinary life can easily be seen by attending someone's funeral and seeing the depth of meaning that they held for the people around them.
It is this kind of meaning that Frankl alludes to when he speaks of three kinds of meaning in life:
- Meaning in artistic or scientific or political or other achievements
- Meaning in the people in your life; and
- Meaning in suffering
When we think of meaning in our lives we don’t normally think of meaning in suffering as falling into the category of having a great life!
But I really relate to Frank’s views on depression and anxiety as necessary parts of the human experience. I’ve seen this same theme come up in the work of the psychologist Kazimierz Dabrowski and his theory of Positive Disintegration. He looks at the inner turmoil of the gifted individual and comes to the same conclusion: These states are a natural and essential part of finding meaning and growth in our lives and not some disorder to be fixed.
I have found this in my own life as I look back on periods of depression and find these to be turning points in my life. Although unpleasant at the time, they have helped me to re-prioritise and shift direction to a more personally meaningful existence.
With my clients, too, this theory has been helpful. So many people come to me looking to clarify their meaning through their career or other goals, often missing the real value in the moment, which may lie in a special relationship or very often in raising their children. Or they’re looking for a huge accomplishment such as seen in prominent figures in the media, when their purpose may be more immediate in this moment and not require fame or fortune to be fulfilled.
Existentialism brings us more present, by drawing our attention to the one certainty that we are prone to ignoring... death. Through facing the inevitability of our own destruction we can more fully appreciate the day or even moment we are experiencing now.
I have personally found the existential approach life changing in this past year. A very close friend passed away last year of cancer and I spent 2017 sitting by her bedside discussing life, death and meaning right up until a few days before she passed away. I watched her deteriorate and lose much of what we normally take to define our humanity: independence and usefulness. It has been particularly helpful to me to take the approach of meaning in suffering: Both in making sense of her suffering and death and in understanding my own grief.
A day before she died my doctor found a lump in my breast and I was also forced to face my own mortality and the anxiety that accompanies that. While in my case it turned out well, I still had a month in between seeing the original doctor and seeing the specialist to contemplate the meaning of my own life.
It has ultimately brought me such a sense if peace and gratitude. I approach each day as if it were a gift… some extra time given to me to absorb and engage in the world and to make a difference to the people around me.
The anxiety which has followed me for most if my life I now see as an energy fuelling me, reminding me that my time here is finite and not to be squandered. With death in my sights I feel more alive.
I no longer search for some definite point in the future where I will feel like I have “made it”. I have stopped looking for ultimate meaning and have found true meaning in every moment. I see life as an end in itself. Every moment – good or bad – holding the whole meaning of the universe right now. Writing this article is the meaning of life right now. Hugging my child is the meaning of life in that moment. Watching the rain holds meaning, as does feeling depressed, taking a bath, watching the sunset, experiencing pain, laughing with my husband or holding the hand of a dying friend.
Every single moment of your short and beautiful life is meaningful in and of itself. And along the way you may experience fortune and fame, but more likely is that you will not. But the small moments of your unextraordinary life can be seen as meaningless if compared to some fantasy that you have been sold in the media, or each one can be so deeply meaningful that even one more moment of life becomes a magical gift to be treasured.
The meaningfulness or meaninglessness of life lies with you. Right now and in every moment.
Are you struggling with depression, anxiety or meaninglessness? Book a session and let me assist you in finding your true purpose and reigniting your joy for life.