We’re right in the midst of the most consumer-driven time of the year, and as your children watch you and absorb what you are doing, saying and being at this time, what is it that they are learning?
Are they learning that food, gifts and drinking are more important than family? That bigger is better? That mass consumerism is ok? That the environment can be forgotten about as we rip off metres of wrapping and throw it in the bin? Are they learning that presents are more important than presence?
Are they learning that food, gifts and drinking are more important than family? That bigger is better? That mass consumerism is ok? That the environment can be forgotten about as we rip off metres of wrapping and throw it in the bin? Are they learning that presents are more important than presence?
Bigger and better presents will never fill the gap, the void, left by a lack of presence on the part of the parents and other primary caregivers in a child’s life. Yes, all kids love getting presents. But the extent of this present-giving ritual is something that they learn from you. In our family the kids know that they will get a few small presents in their stocking on Christmas morning. And that’s it. We’ve explained to them that for us Christmas is about spending quality time with your family, not about amassing cheap junk from China imported at great cost to our planet!
So what does it mean to be present with your kids? It doesn’t have to be about spending huge amounts of time with them, but that the time you do spend you are actually living in the moment with them – you are not lost in thought, on your phone, wishing you were doing something else or otherwise distracted. Actually BE with them. On their level. Doing what they want to do. Being fully present in this way with your children for even 15 minutes a day is better than spending the entire day with them but not really being there.
By truly being with your kids you teach them that they are worthy of your time and attention (and therefore worthy human beings just as they are), you teach them that people are more important than things, that you really see them for who they are right now and they feel loved and acknowledged. Are these not better gifts to give than filling the gap with stuff? These are gifts that will last a lifetime!
Let’s all make a vow this year to keep the presents to a minimum and focus instead on being as present as we can with our kids, giving them love, attention and caring instead of plastic, wrappings and tinsel.
BTW If you’re still trying to fill the void in your own life with stuff then your kids will end up doing the same. Give me a call and allow me to take you on a journey that will be the greatest gift you ever give yourself and your kids – the gift of presence.
Wishing you all a fabulous, presence-filled festive season. Have fun, travel safely and we’ll see you next year for more parenting tips and tricks on this marvelous journey of life and parenting!
So what does it mean to be present with your kids? It doesn’t have to be about spending huge amounts of time with them, but that the time you do spend you are actually living in the moment with them – you are not lost in thought, on your phone, wishing you were doing something else or otherwise distracted. Actually BE with them. On their level. Doing what they want to do. Being fully present in this way with your children for even 15 minutes a day is better than spending the entire day with them but not really being there.
By truly being with your kids you teach them that they are worthy of your time and attention (and therefore worthy human beings just as they are), you teach them that people are more important than things, that you really see them for who they are right now and they feel loved and acknowledged. Are these not better gifts to give than filling the gap with stuff? These are gifts that will last a lifetime!
Let’s all make a vow this year to keep the presents to a minimum and focus instead on being as present as we can with our kids, giving them love, attention and caring instead of plastic, wrappings and tinsel.
BTW If you’re still trying to fill the void in your own life with stuff then your kids will end up doing the same. Give me a call and allow me to take you on a journey that will be the greatest gift you ever give yourself and your kids – the gift of presence.
Wishing you all a fabulous, presence-filled festive season. Have fun, travel safely and we’ll see you next year for more parenting tips and tricks on this marvelous journey of life and parenting!
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