Over 800,000 people die by suicide every year (WHO). Suicide is the SECOND leading cause of death for ages 10-24 (2013 CDC WISQARS). Depression and suicide are conversations we MUST have with our children. They need to know that they can speak openly about their feelings and they will be heard.
When I was 16 I wanted to commit suicide. In fact, I don’t like to call it that. It sounds like a crime. It’s not a crime; it’s a cry. Anyway, if I could go back and chat to my 16-year-old self, I would tell me all the things I’ve experienced since then. I would let myself know of all the things I would have missed out on. I would shine the light of hope on the other side of suicide.
When I was 16 I wanted to commit suicide. In fact, I don’t like to call it that. It sounds like a crime. It’s not a crime; it’s a cry. Anyway, if I could go back and chat to my 16-year-old self, I would tell me all the things I’ve experienced since then. I would let myself know of all the things I would have missed out on. I would shine the light of hope on the other side of suicide.
I would tell myself that I have travelled. I have been to some of the most beautiful places on earth, both in my own country and around the world. I have had a cappuccino made by the Capuchin Monks in Italy. I have climbed the 1260 stairs to the Tiger Cave Temple in Thailand. I have seen the breaching of humpback whales off the coast of Mozambique and been on a camel ride through the deserts of Egypt. I have seen palaces and concentration camps and everything in between.
I would tell myself about all the other things that I have seen. That I’ve seen the blood moon rise over the Red Sea, and the water levels rise after a tsunami. I’ve seen the birth of my kids and the birth of the Internet and the birth of the Rainbow Nation. I’ve seen the inside of a submarine and the inside of my abdomen and the inside of a police van.
I have studied things that have fascinated me and opened my eyes to the wonder of life and the wonder of the human mind and the wonder of me. I have learned about film and writing and painting and psychology and philosophy and education and law and Traditional Chinese Medicine. I have learned about the different religions and philosophies of the world and seen the similarities where others see differences. I have learned about Christianity and Taoism and Judaism and Islam and Buddhism and Sufism and Shinto. I have met people of different colours and shapes and nationalities and cultures and mindsets.
I have loved people of different shapes and colours and nationalities and cultures and mindsets.
I would tell myself about all the people I have met and their amazing stories: Stories of murder and heartache and obstacles overcome; stories of family struggles and financial successes and personal revelations; stories of desperation and hope and triumph. I would tell myself of all the things that people can and have survived and the beautiful, life changing lessons that eked their way out of the most dire of circumstances.
I’d tell myself of the myriad of crazy experiences that I’ve had. About the drugs that I’ve tried and the planes I’ve jumped out of and about diving to the bottom of the sea. About how I’ve challenged the school system and challenged the laws and challenged my own beliefs. I would tell myself about the extremes that I have experienced, from the searing heat of the Namibian desert to the icy chill of a Polish Winter; from the birth of a child to the death of a loved one; from the anger of betrayal to the joy of a proposal.
I would tell myself that it hasn’t been all fun and highlights and happiness along the way. I have also lost friends to death and immigration and incarceration and argumentation. I’ve watched friends go through addiction and cancer and eating disorders. I’ve had PMS and PND and PTSD. I’ve been robbed at gunpoint by strangers and robbed in my own home by friends. I’ve been molested and arrested and suspected.
I would let myself know that these things haven’t broken me; they have strengthened me. That they haven’t drained the colour out of my life, but rather have added their own distinct hue to the painting. They haven’t made me want to live less, but have enticed me to do more with my life.
I would tell myself that when you’re down there so low that it seems like you have no other options, that is exactly when you have the most options. If you’re not afraid to die, then there is no other greater fear standing in the way of everything you could possibly want to do, have or be. When you’ve conquered that greatest of demons, the light is shining down on you to live your fullest, to reach your highest, to make the biggest difference.
And it is then that I would tell myself about the hearts that I have touched, the lives that I have changed, the mission that I am still fulfilling to make a difference in this world. That is the real gift that awaits; that is the dream just waiting to be realized; that is what lies ahead when you make it to the other side of suicide.
I would tell myself about all the other things that I have seen. That I’ve seen the blood moon rise over the Red Sea, and the water levels rise after a tsunami. I’ve seen the birth of my kids and the birth of the Internet and the birth of the Rainbow Nation. I’ve seen the inside of a submarine and the inside of my abdomen and the inside of a police van.
I have studied things that have fascinated me and opened my eyes to the wonder of life and the wonder of the human mind and the wonder of me. I have learned about film and writing and painting and psychology and philosophy and education and law and Traditional Chinese Medicine. I have learned about the different religions and philosophies of the world and seen the similarities where others see differences. I have learned about Christianity and Taoism and Judaism and Islam and Buddhism and Sufism and Shinto. I have met people of different colours and shapes and nationalities and cultures and mindsets.
I have loved people of different shapes and colours and nationalities and cultures and mindsets.
I would tell myself about all the people I have met and their amazing stories: Stories of murder and heartache and obstacles overcome; stories of family struggles and financial successes and personal revelations; stories of desperation and hope and triumph. I would tell myself of all the things that people can and have survived and the beautiful, life changing lessons that eked their way out of the most dire of circumstances.
I’d tell myself of the myriad of crazy experiences that I’ve had. About the drugs that I’ve tried and the planes I’ve jumped out of and about diving to the bottom of the sea. About how I’ve challenged the school system and challenged the laws and challenged my own beliefs. I would tell myself about the extremes that I have experienced, from the searing heat of the Namibian desert to the icy chill of a Polish Winter; from the birth of a child to the death of a loved one; from the anger of betrayal to the joy of a proposal.
I would tell myself that it hasn’t been all fun and highlights and happiness along the way. I have also lost friends to death and immigration and incarceration and argumentation. I’ve watched friends go through addiction and cancer and eating disorders. I’ve had PMS and PND and PTSD. I’ve been robbed at gunpoint by strangers and robbed in my own home by friends. I’ve been molested and arrested and suspected.
I would let myself know that these things haven’t broken me; they have strengthened me. That they haven’t drained the colour out of my life, but rather have added their own distinct hue to the painting. They haven’t made me want to live less, but have enticed me to do more with my life.
I would tell myself that when you’re down there so low that it seems like you have no other options, that is exactly when you have the most options. If you’re not afraid to die, then there is no other greater fear standing in the way of everything you could possibly want to do, have or be. When you’ve conquered that greatest of demons, the light is shining down on you to live your fullest, to reach your highest, to make the biggest difference.
And it is then that I would tell myself about the hearts that I have touched, the lives that I have changed, the mission that I am still fulfilling to make a difference in this world. That is the real gift that awaits; that is the dream just waiting to be realized; that is what lies ahead when you make it to the other side of suicide.
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