For 40 years I thought the trick to winning Monopoly was to buy up Jan Smuts and Eloff Street (yes, we still play the old version), put hotels on them and wait. It’s a slow game, but you usually get there eventually if the other player hasn’t bought up the rest of the board in the meantime. Then, one day as I was researching how to use board games to teach maths to kids I came across a site that knocked my hotels right over to the other side of the board. What I learned was that you can use statistics to win Monopoly. The secret is this...
Statistically, you will throw a 7 more than any other number (followed by a 6 or 8), and you will be either in Jail or at Begin more than any other place on the board. So what you do is buy up the streets that are 6-8 spaces from Jail or Begin. Bam! Game hacked. It works every time. Eventually I had to let my kids in on the trick because they were starting to think that the point of playing the game was to learn that mom is always the winner and life is just unfair!
Parenting, like all things in life, is pretty much a game too. There are some rules and some objectives and some things you learn along the way, but just like Monopoly, there are also hacks that make the game that much easier, more fun, and have you feeling like you’re playing a game rather than taking on Everest.
Having already shared my Monopoly hacks with you, here are my top 5 parenting hacks…
1. You are supposed to learn from your kids. Not the other way round. Yes, there will be mutual learning back and forth, but our current direction of play definitely needs to be reversed. When we slow down and observe our kids and try to be more like them instead of trying to make them like us, then not only the game of parenting improves, but also the game of life. Learn to work less and play more!
2. Your kids do not need to be taught any lessons. They do not need to be lectured or have things pointed out to them or be instructed in the rules of life and love. Nor do they need to be disciplined, coerced, shamed or controlled. Relax. Take a step back. Stop thinking so much about what you can teach them or the moral of the story or the great and meaningful point of the game. Life is the best teacher that there is. They will learn what they need to learn, with or without you.
3. Your kids do not need to be taught, full stop. Honestly, we don’t even need schools. Children left alone to play and explore will learn everything they need to learn to function in their culture and society. They will even learn to read. All on their own. If you don’t believe me, take a look into the experiments of Sugata Mitra. Let go of some of the extra murals, abandon the homework here and there, let them play some “non-educational” games.
4. Your only job as a parent is to provide the basic necessities and as rich and safe an environment as you can in which for them to explore and play. That is all. Put your feet up. Parenting doesn’t have to be a mad rush or something that you need a doctorate in to do properly. Once your kids have passed infancy you can pretty much leave them be. You can’t get it wrong – all you need to do is pay your bond and put some food on the table. Set aside all that guilt about the stuff you haven’t done. Now I’m not saying don’t be involved in their lives or passively watch as they set the house on fire. Step in for emergencies and definitely take an active interest in their lives – but as someone who is genuinely curious to chat to them, not someone there to control their every move.
5. Parenting is supposed to be fun. Yes, every game has ups and downs - there are moments where you’re winning and moments where you’re losing, times where you feel on top of the world and others where you want to throw the board across the room – but the overall spirit is one of enjoyment. If you’re not enjoying your parenting game it is time to stop and ask yourself what you need to do more of and what less in order for the fun to begin.
Even playing Monopoly we can have times where we take the game too seriously and get angry with the other players, try to cheat and get bust, lose all our money, or get tired and bored. The same is true of parenting. But if you keep these parenting hacks in mind you may just find that you turn a long tedious game into something a little bit more exciting, a little bit more heartfelt, a little bit more joyous.
Parenting, like all things in life, is pretty much a game too. There are some rules and some objectives and some things you learn along the way, but just like Monopoly, there are also hacks that make the game that much easier, more fun, and have you feeling like you’re playing a game rather than taking on Everest.
Having already shared my Monopoly hacks with you, here are my top 5 parenting hacks…
1. You are supposed to learn from your kids. Not the other way round. Yes, there will be mutual learning back and forth, but our current direction of play definitely needs to be reversed. When we slow down and observe our kids and try to be more like them instead of trying to make them like us, then not only the game of parenting improves, but also the game of life. Learn to work less and play more!
2. Your kids do not need to be taught any lessons. They do not need to be lectured or have things pointed out to them or be instructed in the rules of life and love. Nor do they need to be disciplined, coerced, shamed or controlled. Relax. Take a step back. Stop thinking so much about what you can teach them or the moral of the story or the great and meaningful point of the game. Life is the best teacher that there is. They will learn what they need to learn, with or without you.
3. Your kids do not need to be taught, full stop. Honestly, we don’t even need schools. Children left alone to play and explore will learn everything they need to learn to function in their culture and society. They will even learn to read. All on their own. If you don’t believe me, take a look into the experiments of Sugata Mitra. Let go of some of the extra murals, abandon the homework here and there, let them play some “non-educational” games.
4. Your only job as a parent is to provide the basic necessities and as rich and safe an environment as you can in which for them to explore and play. That is all. Put your feet up. Parenting doesn’t have to be a mad rush or something that you need a doctorate in to do properly. Once your kids have passed infancy you can pretty much leave them be. You can’t get it wrong – all you need to do is pay your bond and put some food on the table. Set aside all that guilt about the stuff you haven’t done. Now I’m not saying don’t be involved in their lives or passively watch as they set the house on fire. Step in for emergencies and definitely take an active interest in their lives – but as someone who is genuinely curious to chat to them, not someone there to control their every move.
5. Parenting is supposed to be fun. Yes, every game has ups and downs - there are moments where you’re winning and moments where you’re losing, times where you feel on top of the world and others where you want to throw the board across the room – but the overall spirit is one of enjoyment. If you’re not enjoying your parenting game it is time to stop and ask yourself what you need to do more of and what less in order for the fun to begin.
Even playing Monopoly we can have times where we take the game too seriously and get angry with the other players, try to cheat and get bust, lose all our money, or get tired and bored. The same is true of parenting. But if you keep these parenting hacks in mind you may just find that you turn a long tedious game into something a little bit more exciting, a little bit more heartfelt, a little bit more joyous.
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