My name is Mia and I am a Parenting Coach and I’d like to tell you why you don’t need my services...
If you want advice on what to do with your child for any issue whatsoever, regardless of whether your child is 8 or 80, you will find that the world is not lacking in information. There are literally thousands of parenting books on everything from toilet training to discipline to teaching your kids about love. There are even more websites, blogs and articles written by psychologists and coaches and doctors and teachers and parents themselves. And then there are professionals, like me – people you can consult to help you make sense of the myriad bits of information out there.
The thing is, it is all ultimately useless. I know, I’ve been one of those disseminating this mass of information.
If you want advice on what to do with your child for any issue whatsoever, regardless of whether your child is 8 or 80, you will find that the world is not lacking in information. There are literally thousands of parenting books on everything from toilet training to discipline to teaching your kids about love. There are even more websites, blogs and articles written by psychologists and coaches and doctors and teachers and parents themselves. And then there are professionals, like me – people you can consult to help you make sense of the myriad bits of information out there.
The thing is, it is all ultimately useless. I know, I’ve been one of those disseminating this mass of information.
All it does (other than stealing your time) is to confirm what you already want to believe. Think about it… If you are into gentle parenting you’re not going to purchase “The Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother”. No, you’re going to look out for a book that resonates with what you are already working on – perhaps “The Conscious Parent” or something similar. If you believe that it is important for boys to be raised with a father, or girls to be free from gender stereotyping or that children need a pet for emotional wellbeing, then you’ll read books that confirm this.
In my role as a parenting coach I’ve been asked to write hundreds of articles and do radio and television interviews on all sorts of topics ranging from “How To Speak To Kids About Rape” right through to “Is Santa Claus Real?” The truth is that these platforms are a great way for me to get exposure for my business, but I’m simply a human being giving my own opinion.
Yes, I’ve read the Developmental Psychology books and the parenting books and the blogs and articles. I’ve listened to hundreds of hours of audio books, I’ve watched documentaries, I’ve listened to radio shows and I’ve attended online seminars. Does this qualify me to tell you how to raise your child?
No, of course not. As well meaning as all of this information is, it looks at generalities, and your child is far from being a norm. Your child is a unique individual with a unique set of circumstances and a unique way of being in the world. Your child is not a statistic or a mean average or a general example of what is possible at that age and stage.
The truth: I cannot help you to raise your child.
What I can do is encourage you to trust yourself. I know it doesn’t always feel like it, but you are the most qualified person to make decisions regarding the raising of your child. You know your child better than any psychologist or doctor or textbook or me.
Please stop taking our advice. Please stop reading our articles. Please stop turning to us for help. Please stop.
Only when you stop and are present with yourself and your child exactly as you are in this moment will you see the perfection right before your eyes. You are the perfect person to make the perfect choices for your perfect child.
Will you make mistakes? Yes, of course. And they’ll be the perfect mistakes for you and your child to learn and grow from. And, you’ll be making your own mistakes, not mine.
There really is no right or wrong in parenting anyway, unless you are looking at your parenting through the judgmental eyes of someone who prefers to do things differently. The chances are, if you’re the kind of person looking for information and advice on parenting then your heart is already in the right place. Trust that. Trust yourself.
Toss the books, switch off your computer/ TV/ radio, cancel your appointment and use this time to connect with, observe, love and be with your child. You’ll find that if you’re present in your parenting, if you trust yourself and forgive yourself for your mistakes, then you really are the best parent for your child after all. Children need love – yes, the imperfect, messy, worldly, flawed, crazy love that you’re already giving them -and you don’t need a book, an article or a parenting coach to help you with that.
In my role as a parenting coach I’ve been asked to write hundreds of articles and do radio and television interviews on all sorts of topics ranging from “How To Speak To Kids About Rape” right through to “Is Santa Claus Real?” The truth is that these platforms are a great way for me to get exposure for my business, but I’m simply a human being giving my own opinion.
Yes, I’ve read the Developmental Psychology books and the parenting books and the blogs and articles. I’ve listened to hundreds of hours of audio books, I’ve watched documentaries, I’ve listened to radio shows and I’ve attended online seminars. Does this qualify me to tell you how to raise your child?
No, of course not. As well meaning as all of this information is, it looks at generalities, and your child is far from being a norm. Your child is a unique individual with a unique set of circumstances and a unique way of being in the world. Your child is not a statistic or a mean average or a general example of what is possible at that age and stage.
The truth: I cannot help you to raise your child.
What I can do is encourage you to trust yourself. I know it doesn’t always feel like it, but you are the most qualified person to make decisions regarding the raising of your child. You know your child better than any psychologist or doctor or textbook or me.
Please stop taking our advice. Please stop reading our articles. Please stop turning to us for help. Please stop.
Only when you stop and are present with yourself and your child exactly as you are in this moment will you see the perfection right before your eyes. You are the perfect person to make the perfect choices for your perfect child.
Will you make mistakes? Yes, of course. And they’ll be the perfect mistakes for you and your child to learn and grow from. And, you’ll be making your own mistakes, not mine.
There really is no right or wrong in parenting anyway, unless you are looking at your parenting through the judgmental eyes of someone who prefers to do things differently. The chances are, if you’re the kind of person looking for information and advice on parenting then your heart is already in the right place. Trust that. Trust yourself.
Toss the books, switch off your computer/ TV/ radio, cancel your appointment and use this time to connect with, observe, love and be with your child. You’ll find that if you’re present in your parenting, if you trust yourself and forgive yourself for your mistakes, then you really are the best parent for your child after all. Children need love – yes, the imperfect, messy, worldly, flawed, crazy love that you’re already giving them -and you don’t need a book, an article or a parenting coach to help you with that.
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