 | When there's been a car accident, a near drowning, a death in the family, domestic violence or any other potentially traumatic event, as adults, we'll often find ourselves spending some time in therapy working through these difficult experiences and finding a way to experience joy and a sense of safety again. What is not the norm is for us to seek therapy for the infants and toddlers in our care under the same circumstances. We tend to think of babies as being super resilient, able to withstand these knocks and keep on going. We also tend to think that they don't remember much about what happens when they're very little. We certainly never consider that they might be able to be helped through these challenges or meaningfully engage in therapy in any way. Well, we would be wrong, and that is the topic of today's newsletter! |
MYTH #1: BABIES ARE RESILIENT
This one is not entirely a myth, but rather a misunderstanding. Babies, like all humans, are co-regulators. That means that they are resilient in relationship with a resilient adult. Babies need someone who can withstand their strong emotions and contain and soothe them as they struggle through. Most babies will cope with medical procedures or other traumatic events when a patient, loving adult helps them through.
The trouble comes when the parent or other adult is traumatized themselves (or otherwise unable to be physically or emotionally present for the baby). Babies who are not helped and contained through their trauma are not resilient, and many of the issues that this brings up will only be evident years down the line — social difficulties, trouble at school, ADHD-type symptoms of struggling to concentrate or regulate their emotions. Without proper support during traumatic experiences, babies may develop challenges that follow them into childhood and beyond.
MYTH #2: BABIES DON'T REMEMBER TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCES
We store information differently when we don't have language to articulate our experiences, but this doesn't mean these memories don't exist. We may think that babies don't remember and they may not be able to talk about things that happened in their pre-verbal years, but that trauma is stored in their bodies and nervous systems.
When babies experience trauma, their brains encode these experiences differently than adults do, often in sensory and emotional forms rather than as narrative memories. These implicit memories can emerge later as unexplained fears, physical sensations, or emotional reactions that seem disconnected from any conscious memory. For a brilliant explanation of this and the long-term effects of untreated trauma, I can highly recommend Bessel Van Der Kolk's bestselling book, "The Body Keeps The Score."
MYTH #3: BABIES CAN'T HAVE THERAPY
Again, being non-verbal we tend to think that little people couldn't possibly engage in therapy as we tend to think of therapy as talking about our problems. But for many years therapists have been helping young children through play therapy where youngsters play out their problems metaphorically instead of speaking.
Older toddlers can certainly benefit from play therapy, and there are now newer therapies aimed at helping even the youngest of clients. Infant-parent psychotherapy helps parents and infants to work through trauma via their relationship, helping parents to support and contain their children through the healing process. EMDR is a more targeted approach, using simple stories and pictures alongside bilateral stimulation to help babies to process specific traumatic events.
SEEKING HELP FOR YOUR LITTLE ONE
If your baby or toddler has experienced a potentially traumatic event, it's important to recognize that early intervention can prevent long-term difficulties. Some signs that your child might benefit from therapeutic support include:
- Changes in sleep patterns or difficulty settling
- Increased irritability or inconsolable crying
- Regression in developmental milestones
- Strong reactions to triggers that remind them of the traumatic event
- Changes in eating patterns
Remember, getting help early doesn't mean there's something "wrong" with your child or your parenting. Rather, it's a proactive step to support healthy development and emotional wellbeing.
HOW I CAN HELP
One of the main focuses of my new practice is in helping people of all ages to process their trauma before it becomes a lifelong challenge. I am trained in EMDR as well as a form of infant-parent psychotherapy called "Watch, Wait and Wonder." I see parents and their infants in person, as well as supporting parents through EMDR storytelling with their babies online.
If you're concerned about how a difficult experience may be affecting your baby or toddler, please reach out. Together, we can help your little one process their experiences and develop the emotional resilience they'll need throughout life.
This one is not entirely a myth, but rather a misunderstanding. Babies, like all humans, are co-regulators. That means that they are resilient in relationship with a resilient adult. Babies need someone who can withstand their strong emotions and contain and soothe them as they struggle through. Most babies will cope with medical procedures or other traumatic events when a patient, loving adult helps them through.
The trouble comes when the parent or other adult is traumatized themselves (or otherwise unable to be physically or emotionally present for the baby). Babies who are not helped and contained through their trauma are not resilient, and many of the issues that this brings up will only be evident years down the line — social difficulties, trouble at school, ADHD-type symptoms of struggling to concentrate or regulate their emotions. Without proper support during traumatic experiences, babies may develop challenges that follow them into childhood and beyond.
MYTH #2: BABIES DON'T REMEMBER TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCES
We store information differently when we don't have language to articulate our experiences, but this doesn't mean these memories don't exist. We may think that babies don't remember and they may not be able to talk about things that happened in their pre-verbal years, but that trauma is stored in their bodies and nervous systems.
When babies experience trauma, their brains encode these experiences differently than adults do, often in sensory and emotional forms rather than as narrative memories. These implicit memories can emerge later as unexplained fears, physical sensations, or emotional reactions that seem disconnected from any conscious memory. For a brilliant explanation of this and the long-term effects of untreated trauma, I can highly recommend Bessel Van Der Kolk's bestselling book, "The Body Keeps The Score."
MYTH #3: BABIES CAN'T HAVE THERAPY
Again, being non-verbal we tend to think that little people couldn't possibly engage in therapy as we tend to think of therapy as talking about our problems. But for many years therapists have been helping young children through play therapy where youngsters play out their problems metaphorically instead of speaking.
Older toddlers can certainly benefit from play therapy, and there are now newer therapies aimed at helping even the youngest of clients. Infant-parent psychotherapy helps parents and infants to work through trauma via their relationship, helping parents to support and contain their children through the healing process. EMDR is a more targeted approach, using simple stories and pictures alongside bilateral stimulation to help babies to process specific traumatic events.
SEEKING HELP FOR YOUR LITTLE ONE
If your baby or toddler has experienced a potentially traumatic event, it's important to recognize that early intervention can prevent long-term difficulties. Some signs that your child might benefit from therapeutic support include:
- Changes in sleep patterns or difficulty settling
- Increased irritability or inconsolable crying
- Regression in developmental milestones
- Strong reactions to triggers that remind them of the traumatic event
- Changes in eating patterns
Remember, getting help early doesn't mean there's something "wrong" with your child or your parenting. Rather, it's a proactive step to support healthy development and emotional wellbeing.
HOW I CAN HELP
One of the main focuses of my new practice is in helping people of all ages to process their trauma before it becomes a lifelong challenge. I am trained in EMDR as well as a form of infant-parent psychotherapy called "Watch, Wait and Wonder." I see parents and their infants in person, as well as supporting parents through EMDR storytelling with their babies online.
If you're concerned about how a difficult experience may be affecting your baby or toddler, please reach out. Together, we can help your little one process their experiences and develop the emotional resilience they'll need throughout life.
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